What is wealth?
I recently had an interesting discussion with my children. One of them commented about how much their friends have at their houses, compared to us. For instance, big screen TVs with huge numbers of videos and games, big toys like air hockey tables and ATVs. These kids seem to be so much more priviledged and wealthier.
So I suggested we think about why that is. I asked them to imagine what it’s like in a house with 2 working parents and only one other sibling. You HAVE to have all those toys - it’s downright boring. No one to play with, talk to, etc.
I pointed out that in our house, there’s always someone to do something with or to talk to. When conversation runs dry (very rare here) or when you’re ready to move on to a new activity- there’s always something eles to do - or someone else to talk with! The kids started to understand that most ‘little’ families spend all their income and time together buying something to do - purchasing ready-made fun.
Don’t get me wrong, we enjoy doing outside things together. We just don’t need big expensive fun - a recent trip to Quabbin resevoir proves that. It was free and we got to see lightening over the water during a passing thunderstorm - truly magnificent. We saw a doe and her fawn - just as curious about us as we were about them. We climbed 7 flights of stairs to the top of an observation tower that, on a clear day, offers views of NY, NH, CT, and VT! We picnicked on an overlook where bird watchers keep a sharp eye out for the many nesting pairs of Bald Eagles. We went to the visitor’s center and looked up family members who had given up their farmlands for the resevoir - and got a superb history/science lesson about the Great Depression (the time when the resevoir was built) and the engineering involved in such a huge project. The kids admired the stuffed critters - examples of the type of wildlife to be found there.
I pointed out that their friends probably look at some aspects of our family life with admiration. Our family stays home all the time together, homeschooling and working. We always have homemade meals. We know how to do pretty interesting things that they don’t know how to do like knitting, sewing, building, gardening. We have time for charitable works like making baby hats for the local NICU and make rosaries as gifts. Other parents always comment on how well-behaved and well-educated our children are - lamenting what public school is doing to their own children. Still, they cling to their conventional ways and wonder how on Earth we can afford these children.
We have learned the art of living simply and finding pleasure in the ordinary. We don’t require artificial stimulation - though small doses are fun. So often, we are told by society that if we have a large family, we can’t afford to do or have certain things. Well, to an extent that is true, but we have all the necessary things - big TVs, weekly outings to amusement parks or movies are not necessary. Learning how to live together, love and support each other, appreciate all that God has given us - those ARE necessary. And we have that in spades - making us far wealthier than most.
July 28th, 2006 at 2:34 pm
I like your question. What is wealth? I like how you relate it to family. I like the fact that you put having a large family in a very good light. I like the fact that you practice home schooling.
It does concern me that people take a view that having a large family impoverishes people. Also that you must sacrifice wealth to have a large family.
A point of view I like is using family to build wealth.
Are you familiar with the family history of Frank and Lillian Gilbreth? They are credited with pioneering many aspects of modern life. They practiced home schooling, were both accomplished in business and worked from home.
http://gilbrethnetwork.tripod.com/front.html
July 28th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
Hi Dominic! Thank you so much for your kind words.
Yes, I know about the Gilbreths - Cheaper by the Dozen, Belles on Their Toes… I admire them so much. We view our children as wealth, not to be pollyanna, but because we see our worth in what we can contribute to this world through raising good children who serve others. That is what we feel we’re put here to do, it’s our calling as a married couple.
The fact that it’s so pleasurable is a bonus!
July 31st, 2006 at 10:11 am
I agree wealth is not found in our stuff or in being constantly enertained. Having a larger family (we have 4) makes you more creative and appreciative of what you have.
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August 13th, 2006 at 3:42 pm
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January 8th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
oh give me a BREAK..why do big families always find the need to put down small families? Why is there this constant need to say that you are “better” than other families when your kids bring up some very valid drawbacks to having tons of kids?
I also cannot believe that you would deny yourself medication that would heal you and enable you to meet the needs of your older kids all so you could continue to nurse your baby. How unbelievably unwise. I would also think that someone in your medical condition would practice good stewardship with the children you DO have instead of having this constant need to have more and more and more. Its like a drug for you people.
January 8th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
Lisa,
I believe you misunderstand a large family’s need to defend itself against the constant attacks of our pro-contraceptive society as an attack on small families. I have nine children and every where we go I get: Are they all yours? How can you handle so many? Man, you husband must be rich, etc. Society in general does not see children as a blessing from God and a means to salvation (you can’t be materialistic when you have a small income and 9 kids).
As for Nissa thinking about her baby before herself, I find her most heroic. Her older children are learning about sacrificial love that is not taught very often these days. They will survive the extra work and will be better off for it in the long run.
God Bless you Nissa, and I hope you find a medication that will help you and that won’t keep you from providing nurishment to your dear one.
Barbara
January 8th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Lisa, in all honesty I do not see how she was putting down smaller families. I think her response above was fair to her children’s question, pointing out some advantages she happens to have above those with smaller families, all of which are true. She also pointed out some of the things smaller families can do that they can’t do. You don’t need to be so defensive, we each choose our own paths in life, and each path has minuses and negatives in different ways. It’s just important to embrace life and what you have, no matter the numbers.
Each child she has will never have to wonder “if I was number 5, would I be here?”. They will ALWAYS know that they were welcomed with open arms by his/her parents, because they see how welcoming she is, even through hardship, towards all her new children sent her way. Thank goodness there are families willing to go through hardship and skimping in order to have the blessings of children. Those that limit their family size without GOOD REASON, in a very underlying way, communicate to their children that they don’t truly believe their children are gifts and blessings. Rather, that they are hardships and something to bear with instead.
As far as the medication, the ends do not justify the means. I just think there is something REALLY dark about pumping yourself with cells from an aborted baby, no matter if you are prolife or not. It just can’t be healthy for people to be injected with other people. I think it’s disgusting, and I don’t blame her for wanting to know.
January 8th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
Lisa- I am sorry but I think you greatly misunderstand the zeal this “blessed mom of many” has for her family. I am sorry you are hurt by the topic that I found so very interesting. I didn’t think it was personal to anyone with a small family. I can tell you from experience that when I had a small family I bought alot more to entertain the children but as we expanded we “needed” these kinds of fillers less and less. I’m sure you love your children every bit as much as this mother loves hers. There are blessings no matter the size of the family, we are in this for God, not for ourselves.
January 8th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
I don’t think she said they were better.. I think she said that they had different strengths and or weaknesses.
My husband and myself are both “ lonely onlys” . We did not want that for our children either. Both the DH and I would have given up some of our material luxuries in order to have had a sibling much less a bunch of them
You don’t have to buy the lie society tells you Lisa. The dh and I both have three plus college degrees between us. We could make money in the three digits easy peasy if I went to work as well. We wanted to give our children other gifts. The gift of a family. That is what Nissa and her husband want too.