What if you could have 21 conversations with each of your children? I’m talking about individual one-on-one conversations. You could talk about anything. The weather, their wish list, clothing, friends, schoolwork, courtship, college, God…

I bet after 21 conversations you would feel much more connected with your child. And your child would feel much more connected with you. There would probably be more mutual respect, and trust, resulting in your child making better choices for himself with your advice and guidance. You might understand his hopes and dreams, get to know more about his friends, and how he thinks. He might begin to ask you questions about your hopes and dreams when you were his age. He might ask questions about his faith, and what it all means - for real.

It would be wonderful to have 21 conversations with each of your children before they’re grown, wouldn’t it?

What if I told you that you could find a way to have 21 half-hour conversations with each of your children this month?

This past Advent, we did something that many people would call drastic. We banned the use of the dishwasher. Each Sunday, one of our children is assigned the role of Hosteller, whose job it is, among other duties, to help me with the dishes. After every meal, we clear the table (with the help of our Sacristan), scrub the sink, and choose who gets to wash/rinse and who will dry/put up. There is something about sinking your hands into warm sudsy water, and the rhythm of washing or wiping dishes that relaxes body, mind, and spirit. It’s an activity that seems to invite conversation. So for one half-hour, three times each day, for one week, one child gets my focused attention.

As a result of this change, I feel that I am more in tune with each child. While we are standing at the sink, we might discuss music, or art, or a Bible reading. Sometimes we spot a beautiful bird outside the window and talk about him, or we laugh at the antics of our goats and chickens, whose barnyard is just outside the kitchen window. The conversation often turns to current readings or projects, and even news items. I feel that I understand each child’s needs, strengths, weaknesses, hopes and dreams better than I did before. They feel important and loved. *I* feel important and loved. And I have an opportunity to spend time with six wonderfully unique and precious souls.

What will your 21 conversations be?

P.S. The dishes are a whole lot cleaner than they were when we used the dishwasher. Bumpy was right - the best brand is “Armstrong”.

Posted: 01|15|08 at 11:18 am. Filed under: from our hearth and home.
Comment | Trackback